Permission to Moan
Blue Monday, self-fulfilling prophecies and some reverse psychology
More often than not, things go exactly as we expect them to.
Think something is going to be hard? It probably will be.
Wake up in an optimistic mood? You’ll likely have a good day.
There’s plenty of reasons why predictions and assumptions often come true. Our mood and expectations unconsciously influence our actions and communication, which in turn affect how others react to us. Confirmation bias - our natural tendency to notice information that supports what we already think – also plays a part.
Of course, the self-fulfilling prophecy works equally for both desirable and undesirable outcomes. However, we mustn’t forget the human brain’s predisposition to remember negative experiences over positive ones. This is an evolutionary response that helped our ancestors avoid repeating dangerous events, but in the modern world it works against us.
Combine all this together and it means that, if we’ve decided we’re going to have a bad day, we almost certainly will.
Luckily, we can also use the psychology in our favour. Being aware of our biases and expectations, gratitude practices that actively focus on noticing the positive, and deliberately challenging our own negative thinking are all helpful.
Today though, I want to share an unusual wellbeing tip: having a good grumble.
The idea is you deliberately apply grumpy reactions to things that go right. Let yourself have a good old moan BUT only about the good stuff.
“It’s a dry day again. We all get to go outside for play. Typical!”
“Oh come on. I’ve finished all my marking and can leave on time. Not again!”
“Billy has handed his homework in early. What was he thinking?” said with an eye roll and a sigh.
The more over the top, the better!
Yes, it’s ridiculously silly but there are some solid reasons why it works. It focuses you away from the negative, retrains your brain to look for the positives and reinforces the fact that most of the time good things are happening.
Why not give it a try? After all, everyone loves a good old moan from time to time!
I love the focus away from the negative!